Friday, June 5, 2015

The BEST MOVIE PICKER EVER (Or Whatever)

For a while, when it was my turn to pick a movie, I just couldn't get it right. (If you're like, what is she on about, read this.) One night I picked The Theory of Everything, that Stephen Hawking film, which was pretty interesting for about twenty minutes and then it was just a big ole' snoozefest. (I thought it would be about his theories and his work but it was just about his illness. He's a fascinating badass dude but the movie is hard to stay with the whole time.) Then I picked a movie called 5 Flights Up. If you know me, you know there was no way I wasn't gonna pick this one. It stars Diane Keaton (swoon), Morgan Freeman (swoon) and a cute little dog (swoon swoon). I'm a sucker for those two actors, for dogs and for movies about old people. But not even those two could save this movie from being one big shrug. And then, of course, I picked Magic Mike. I was curious. I'd been wondering about this movie since that one night I call my 'Me Date' when I chose to watch four episodes of "Hart of Dixie" instead of renting it and then I almost burned down our kitchen while making popcorn. Plus, you know, Joe Manganiello. But despite all the naked hot dudes, it ended up being criminally boring.

I started feeling competitive with Tim because when it was his turn, he was picking stuff that didn't make me fall asleep in my popcorn like Song of the Sea, a beautiful Irish animated movie about a Celtic sea goddess. (One night he even chose to go out for drinks and then a late showing of Ex Machina, which is a really cool flick if you haven't seen it.) So, I got all pissy agro about it, like, I'M GONNA PICK THE BEST MOVIES EVER AND YOU WILL LIKE THEM. I don't know if I did that exactly but my last two turns have been pretty awesome and they're both streaming on Netflix so maybe you'll like them too.

The first one was an Iranian vampire flick called A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night. First off, this film just looks perfect, all black and white and cinematic with images you can't get out of your brain afterward. It's dark and moody with a sense of humor. I love a fresh take on bloodsuckers so this one really hit home with me. There's a scene where the vampire girl is riding a skateboard that made me squeal with delight. After the first five minutes or so, I even forgot I was reading subtitles. Pick this movie to watch with your significant other or some friends if you want to WIN EVERYTHING.

Then, last night, I chose that Jon Favreau movie, Chef. It's funny and sweet and has so much food porn in it that you'll need lots of snacks while you watch. The film is also stacked with talented hot people. Like, Jon Favreau was all, hmmm, who am I gonna cast, I know, ALL THE HOT PEOPLE. So, there's Scarlett Johansson and Sofia Vergara and Robert Downey Jr. Oooh and John Leguizamo is in it too. I love John Leguizamo. He should be in everything. They should just stick him in every film ever from now on. You know, like Emma Stone and Bradley Cooper.

OK, anyway, those are my recommendations. Pretty good, huh? I'm sticking gold stars all over my body because I'm so good at picking movies. And these are extra great because they're free if you have Netflix.

Happy movie-watching, everyone! Please let me know if you have any recommendations for me. Not that I need them or anything.

xo,
K

*photo of my chill as fuck shadow.