Tuesday, March 3, 2015

40 Moments

You know how people tell you to list stuff you're grateful for? Like it's gonna change your life? I tried that shit. I sat down with a mug full of chai latte and a good attitude firmly in place. I put on some good tunes. I cracked my knuckles like a mystery writer in a movie based on a Stephen King novel. Then I spent twenty minutes rolling my eyes at my laptop. I decided that because today I turn forty (OHMYFUCKINGGAWD), I should probably focus on moments instead of things. Because at this point, I've had a fuckton of moments, y'all. I thought listing them might make me, I dunno, grateful for the life I've had or something. At the very least it should be fun, right?

Well, it was. And it did. I got a little nostalgic and a lot mushy. I had some vodka. It was all very cute except I think starting today I might be a little old for cute. But that's okay because I've had some good times, man. Here are 40 of them:
  1. Books! All the books. The first time I read a Stephen King novel (I think it was Salem's Lot) or the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles or Harry Potter or Hemingway. Shit, the first time I read Sweet Valley High in Elementary School.
  2. Parasailing in Maui with my sister-in-law, Stacey, and my dad. I was afraid of heights and then suddenly I was floating above the ocean up in the peaceful quiet thinking, oh fuck yeah.
  3. Dancing my face off all night at a gay bar called 404 in Austin with my friends Jill and Jenna and feeling like I would be young forever. (The next morning might make the reverse of this list.)
  4. The Cure. Specifically the first time I saw them in Dallas in 1989 with my friends Shay and Jennifer (The Prayer Tour for Disintigration) and the time I saw them by myself 5th row center at The Pantages on the Reflections Tour. They played the first three albums in their entirety including B-sides and it was life changing. I've never geeked out that hard.
  5. Tim proposing in Paris the night before we left to join friends in Amsterdam. He forgot to take out the ring so I assumed it was spontaneous. I don't remember anything he said, just that I felt sure.
  6. Blasting that terrible EMF song, "Unbelievable" in the dressing room of Midland Community Theatre getting ready for a Pickwick show. I think it was Beauty & the Beast but it could've been 45 Minutes From Broadway. Pre-show antics with that group was always pure joy.
  7. Laughing on the yellow dog on the way to speech tournaments with Matt, Guddy, Chad, April and the rest of the crew. Singing, "With dry-clean jeans and head that gleams, oh how we love him so" to the tune of some Neil Diamond song to Mr. Knight.
  8. Lying on a flat futon with the blinds closed all day drinking grape soda and eating junk food recovering from a night out at the Viper Room with Edi and Christie. Pretty sure we watched Fight Club. We always watched Fight Club.
  9. Riding around Midland in Max's station wagon with Max and Aaron blasting Nine Inch Nails' Pretty Hate Machine and chain-smoking cigarettes.
  10. My dad teaching me to read and write every day after he got home from work. I learned on a little magnetic chalkboard desk we kept on the floor of our dining room. Because of him, I was reading books by age 3.
  11. Taking my little sister to the H.O.R.D.E Festival in Austin in 1995 and getting fuuuuuucked up. Pistol touching Lenny Kravitz. Rolling down a hill with her laughing.
  12. My first rave. And my second, third and fourth raves. My pink kitty hat I wore to raves.
  13. My mom buying me Depeche Mode's Music For The Masses in 1987 even though I'd just started 7th Grade and one of the songs was pretty much just sexy heavy breathing.
  14. Ringing in the new year in Palm Springs for the last four years with my amazing friends Edi, Dan, Roberto, Monte and Tim.
  15. Putting a stuffed dog on my head and dancing around our San Marcos apartment and Olivia dubbing me "Doghead Alvey" while Edi and I almost peed ourselves laughing.
  16. Epic Colfax parties. What else were we supposed to do with a big house with blue shag carpet but throw giant parties where we did dance routines in the living room or had keg stand contests or pie eating contests or jello shot contests?
  17. Finding out my first nephew, Logan, had just been born on my 29th birthday while I was sitting at Home (in Los Feliz) having drinks and ice cream with Edi and Roxane.
  18. Responding, "Nah, we have 4 nephews, we're good," and MEANING IT when people ask if Tim and I are gonna have kids. Having 4 nephews is a constant joy. I wholeheartedly recommend it.
  19. My Meemaw saying she didn't know how to play Pente and then creaming me. Or spades or pool or any game, really. 
  20. My parents giving me my first pair of Doc Martens. They were pointy-toed and awesome and my mom hunted all over Chicago on a business trip to find them.
  21. My sister and I acting out pretty much all of Grease 2 in our playroom. I was always Stephanie Zinone.
  22. The little girl I was babysitting calling me a princess and saying I was "beautiful and brave" the day after I'd bombed a call back to be a princess on a Power Rangers show.
  23. Tim "kidnapping" me and taking me to all my favorite L.A. places on Valentine's Day even though we're way too cool to do Valentine's Day.
  24. Brunch club with my friends Liz, Ed, Nicole and Eliza. All the brunches.
  25. Going to first New Zealand and then Turkey with The Pickwick Players, my theatre troupe, and learning that there was way more to the world than West Texas.
  26. Playing cops and robbers with Matt, Will, Michael, Effie and Leanne. Running around M-town in the middle of the night like we gave no fucks because we gave no fucks.
  27. Sitting in a parking garage with Tim after seeing the 2001 Planet of the Apes remake and him playing the Travis song "Flowers In The Window" and saying it reminded him of me.
  28. Going to see The Shins at The Paladium with Edi, Dan, Tim, Roberto and Monte and taking about 300 group selfies while we waited for them to go on, before selfies were even a thing.
  29. Karaoke with Jenny, Brett, Rachel, Rodney, Eddie and so many others at Brass Monkey. Singing "Kitty" and Tom being my kitty. :)
  30. Amazing Krimma (Christmas) celebrations at Dan and Dawn's, at both the Dansion and the WeHo dream house. The Star Wars Christmas special and turkey-flavored soda. Both beautiful in their terribleness.
  31. Renting a cabin in New Braunfels, Texas in the sweltering July heat with my parents, my sister and my nephews and having a crazy fun time in between cases of heat stroke.
  32. Being understage after opening night of A Doll's House at Southwest Texas State and realizing I did that shit and I LIKED it.
  33. My sister and I chasing down the boys who kept ding-dong-ditching us after school and kicking their asses in an alley like we were the Little Rascals or something.
  34. The time, a week after adopting Hogan McSmalls, when he finally relaxed and realized we weren't gonna get rid of him. He hopped in my lap and licked my face and I cried.
  35. Tim and I laughing until we were actually crying at Mohawk Bend with Jenny and Robin because of my terrible Mumford & Sons impression and Robin's insane hatred of The Beatles.
  36. Lunching with Edi. Shit, 20 years of lunching with Edi.
  37. Receiving the anthology containing my first published essay in the mail and realizing I can write things and people might actually read them.
  38. A high school boyfriend telling me my eyes looked "exactly like concrete" then going on to tell me he thought I could do anything I wanted. It was a weird/cool moment. 
  39. In 1986, my friend Shay's older brother Dale putting on The Smiths' album Meat Is Murder and saying to us, "You girls should lay off the Book Of Love for a sec and come listen to this." I was 11. I still think about this frequently. I still listen to The Smiths.
  40. Knowing as I write this that I could have easily listed 4000 amazing moments and that they'll be zillions more even after my hair turns completely grey, even after there's not a filter in existence that makes my old mug Instagrammable.
To everyone who's been reading this blog since wow, what was it, 1893? Anyway, thanks. Thanks, thanks, thanks forever.


*photo of little me rocking my Wonder Woman suit, like ya do.