Thursday, November 28, 2013

Throwback Turkey: Dirty Bird

Happy Throwback Thursday and Happy Turkey Day!  Here I am in, um, I'm gonna say 1985-ish?  I honestly don't know what year this was but it was the Rusk Elementary Cafetorium for sure, a super swanky little venue with amazing plastic stools bolted into metal tables and a constant delightful sloppy joe smell.  There I am in the middle as a very authentic turkey. We were told to wear solid colored shirts so I convinced my mom to let me wear my super rad green valour sweatshirt because duh, it was sweeeeet.  (I don't know if you can see it but it was valour AND ribbed.  Mega coolness.  I was like Joan Jett and shit.)  Flanking me are two boys from my class.  I can't tell you who they are because I don't want either of them to hunt me down and kill me but I will say that one of the boys ended up being one of my very best friends who I am still pals with and the other one put gum in my hair on the bus.  See if you can figure out who is who.  I'm not gonna tell you, though.  I know, they both seem pretty pissed off to be turkeys.  I think, despite that look on my face, I might have kind-of enjoyed it.

This Thanksgiving program might be the reason I can't eat turkey.  Because I WAS a turkey, you see.  I straight up method-acted that show.  I became one with the turkey.  Or maybe it has nothing to do with that and everything to do with the fact that turkey tastes like dirt, in my opinion.  (Every year on the blog I try to find an excuse to bash turkey and call it "Dirty Bird."  Success!)  Anyway, for the last four years in a row, I've gone so far as to adopt a turkey from a place called Farm Sanctuary.  Yes, I am one of the California hippies your mother warned you about.  This year I sponsored a bird named Martha who is from SoCal and isn't anywhere near as ugly as her turkey pals.

While I won't be eating turkey today, I will be eating everything else I can, because I'm nothing if not traditional, you guys.  I hope your day is wonderful and I hope your dirty bird is delicious.  This year I'm grateful for so many things (see Tuesday's blog) but I'm also mega-thankful for you.