Friday, November 8, 2013

A Furry Epiphany

I was at a show the other night at The Troubadour.  It was toward the end of the set and I was a little bit buzzed (my friend drove so I cocktailed) and I was feeling pretty mushy.  I was all "the stars are aligned and everything is right in the universe" ish.  I realized I was completely at ease and comfortable, happy even.  I had an epiphany that I'm at my most human and content when I'm listening to live music or watching a play.  I started thinking about that old saying, "Do what you love."  But, I can't play an instrument.  I quit guitar lessons in junior high.  I don't want to write reviews of concerts.  (They'd all be variations on "I loved it!  I love the band!  I love everyone!")  So what does this mean?  It means simply, Go see more live music because you love it so much, vodka brain.

Then the band started playing their hit song, "Furr."  If you listen to Blitzen Trapper, there's a good chance you were introduced to them through this song.  I mean, it's brilliant.  It always causes a dramatic visceral reaction in me.  For lack of a better way to describe it (what am I, a writer?), when I listen to it, I can always feel the truth of it.  Yeah, it rings true to me on the deepest level.

When you listen to the song live, you can tell the band is probably sick of playing it.  They either speed it up or slow it down.  They mess with the arrangement.  But my love for "Furr" is such that I don't care at all.  They could rap it and I'd still get tingly.  And so as I listened to them sing it really slowly, I started coming down off of my high and I got really low.  Why?  Because I don't know if I've ever written anything that true.  That raw.  I write all the time.  The bulk of most days.  I've written essays about my childhood and blog posts about Ewoks and I do think there's truth in everything I do.  I mean, it's TRUE on the most base level, in that what I say happened actually happened.  But, I started thinking about how if the members of Blitzen Trapper died, you would know who they were by listening to their music. It's all in there.  It's real and it's unapologetic and it's awesome.

Mommy, when I grow up I wanna be just like a band named after a reindeer.

Or, all bands, really.  All good bands.  All authors I like to read.  I just want to write something I can point to and say, "That.  That is what I am and what I feel.  That is truth as I know it."  And, you know, if there's some quips in there about vodka and donkeys wearing hats and how I hate hugs, so be it.  That, I recognize, is also true.

So, that is what I'm about right now.  I'm in a creative transition.  I'm shifting my focus from trying to sell a book to writing what I want and then worrying about selling it later.  I want to go deeper and I want to evolve.  Not sure if that will mean a change on this blog or not but I welcome the input.  Please let me know what you like to read.  Do you look forward to Rant Monday?  Will you be super pissed at me if I do away with Advice Wednesday because my advice is just so spot on?  Get at me, yo.  I'm interested.

I leave you with "Furr."  Hope you have a lovely weekend.  Thanks, as always, for caring.
xo.


*Photo I took at Cat & The Fiddle years ago.  I've always liked it.