Tuesday, October 15, 2013

My Masters in Grease-ology

If you've been reading this blog for a bit, you've probably heard me joke that I don't know anything and that I don't have any skills apart from parallel parking and making balloon animals.  This is 56% true and 58% exaggeration. (I can't do math either.) I mean, obviously there are things I can do.  I've made it this far without making any catastrophic messes so I must have some life skills.  But, I honestly couldn't tell you what they are.

I also don't know a lot about much.  Nobody wants me on their Trivial Pursuit team.  If I tell you a fact, there's a pretty good chance I read it in an article seven years ago and I have the stats wrong.  I know this about myself so I just turn it into a joke.  "I think I read that dog owners are 89% less stressed than people without dogs but I'm not entirely sure because I'm really bad at, um, like, remembering stuff."  (Hair twirl. Eye roll.)  Hahahaha, I'm an idiot.  Hahahaha, I don't know anything about ANYTHING except music, books and plays.  Wow.  So funny!

So, when I'm right about something, I'm insufferable.  I try to hold it in but my gross pride seeps out and it's pretty obnoxious.  When we won pub quiz, I was impossible to be around for a week even though my team was comprised of a gal who has three Masters degrees and is getting her doctorate from Cambridge, one of the smartest dudes I've ever met who is a big tech geek and my husband, who knows more about history than all of my old history professors combined.  (My entire contribution to that win was naming Canadian celebrities, knowing which Presidents were from Texas and recognizing a Bon Iver song.  Ooooh.) So, I'm a dork.  A blissfully ignorant dork.  But, get a load of what I did the other night.

We moved into a new place and got cable installed for the first time in six years.  We'd been getting our entertainment on through Netflix and iTunes so you can imagine the sheer joy of turning on the television and watching the Cowboys game in real time or six episodes of Friends in a row while we unpacked books.  I was crashed out on the couch while Tim was scrolling through the channels.
Suddenly he said, "Hey, look, your favorite is on."

I lifted my head and saw that he meant Grease.  "Cool."

"How many times have you seen that movie?  Have you seen it or Grease 2 more?"

"Maybe a million times each?  Probably a tie."

"OK, let's see how well you know it.  There's half an hour left.  What part do you think it's on?"

I love games.  Love love love games.  And Tim had just turned TV watching into a game.  I sat up and sang, "Stranded at the drive-in/ Branded a fool/ What will they say/ Monday at school?"

Tim turned it to Grease and there was Danny at the drive-in singing, "Sandy" maybe two bars after where I'd left off.

We gaped at each other for a really long time and then Tim said, "Holy shit."  He is so not used to me being right about things, you see.

Then I had to leap off the couch and do a victory dance which involved humping a toss pillow because of course I did.

I don't know much about much.  But, I know Grease.  One AND two, thank you very much.  And that, my friends, is something.

*photo from way2enjoy.