Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Kendragarden Tells You How To Move

Hello and Happy Advice Wednesday!  Last night I asked Tim, "What should I give advice about?" and he said, "Moving," and I was all, "Okay."

The end.

Just kidding.  So, I've moved kind-of a lot.  Well, since I left my hometown anyway.  I spent fifteen years of my life (ages three through eighteen) in the same house, which was nice.  But, I think I moved eight times in college alone.  Oooh, and this is my eighth place in Los Angeles so far.  I don't know what my deal is. Maybe I just get restless. But, I know how to move and this last move was the easiest one so far.

So, I have some advice and here it is: Hire movers.

The end.

Hahahaha.  I'm so on this morning!  You guys are all, wow, she's doing a thing where she keeps writing "The End" but it's not really the end!  Hysterical!  What a card!  I know, I know.  But I think I'll actually go ahead and write this post just for the fun of it.  Here we go. *You can skip to the bottom if you want the short version.*

How To Move.  Ahem.

1) Lose the crap.
Go through your crap before you start packing.  Get rid of half of it.  You don't need that zebra print Snuggie.  Your "going out" pants from college can go to Goodwill.  Well, unless you're still in college. In that case, you need to wear those suckers all the time, OK?

2) Pack the good stuff in a special box.
I put the contents of our liquor cabinet, my favorite plants and my box of candy in a laundry basket and carried it over personally.  Sidebar:  Yes, I have a special box of candy.  It's full of Lifesavers, Boton Rice Candy and those awesome chocolate mints you get from Mexican restaurants.  You know the ones?  They're round with little alternating mint green and brown stripes?  They're my favorites.  I hoard them. Anyway, pack the stuff you know you'll want at the end of moving day together.

3) Don't RSVP to anything.
So you think you can hit a party in the middle of a move and then get up at 6 a.m. and move some more the next day and then go to another party?  You can't.  Well, maybe you can, college kids with college going out pants.  But, everyone else, if the move's on Saturday, don't schedule anything until at least Sunday night.  Moving sucks enough without piling social obligations on top of it.

4) Be crazy.
Your move will probably go really smoothly if you just lose your mind.  Break your brain.  Okay, now you're just like me and you'll work your ass off for a week before the movers come.  You'll get everything in a box, a bin or a crate with labels.  There won't be an Ewok out of a box the morning of your move.  All it will cost you is your sanity!  Yay!

5) Send your dog/cat/ferret to daycare.
If you don't have to worry about your fuzzy friend getting freaked out or squished by a box, you'll probably be a lot less stressed and your moving day will go so much better.  Even better if it's one of those silly dog/cat/ferret spas where your buddy can get groomed and arrive at your new digs all clean and fuzzy and wearing a terrible seasonal bandana that you can laugh at.

6) Don't move at a bad time.
Here are times that are bad to move: If it's raining, if you're on your period, if you just got back from a trip and are still a little jet-lagged, if you have personal stress going on.  Only a crazy person would move during any of those things.  Only a truly insano-head would move while they have all of those things going on.  Don't let this be you!  Try to time your move perfectly so that your life is all sunshine and rainbows and, I don't know, all-you-can-eat taco nights.  Yeah.  Do that.

Well, that's my advice.  Basically, make sure you're an anal-retentive neatnik who has lots of taco nights.  Oh, and put your dog and your liquor in a safe place.  Pretty much sums it up.  Happy moving!

*Hire movers.*