Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The 5 Stages Of Post Grunge Acceptance

Sometimes I like to zone out by messing around on Tumblr.  I do this when I'm having writer's block or if I'm winding down with a cocktail, waiting for Tim to come home.  I'll blast some music and scroll down the weird wonderful world of Tumblr.  Because of who I follow, it's pretty much an endless roll of Star Wars, bookshelf porn, dogs, literary quotes, sci-fi awesomeness, dogs, 80s pop culture, dogs and a little bit of sexy tattooed people thrown in for good measure.  Did I mention dogs?  It's pretty awesome.

Another thing I see on Tumblr frequently is glam shots of super cute young people in grunge gear.  This always gets me because they're dressed exactly like I used to dress back in the day.  (Courtney Love and Robert Smith had a geeky baby who smoked too much pot and hasn't figured out how to apply eyeliner.) I've gone through all the stages of denial with this trend:

1) Denial
Did I really just see a girl on Melrose wearing a babydoll dress and Docs?  Surely I'm not old enough for my era's fashion to come BACK IN STYLE.  Is this shit like when I wore Keds and my mom was all, Awwww, I wore Keds in high school, they were very popular and I was like, Ugggh, Mom, gross, these are cool, shut up.  Maybe it's just a fluke and that chick is the cool gal at her school and very into L7 or something.

2) Anger
WHY THE FUCK IS THIS LITTLE BABY DUDE AT THE BAR DRESSED LIKE KURT COBAIN, I'M GONNA RIP THAT CARIDGAN OFF OF HIM AND STOMP ON HIM HOW DARE THEY CO-OPT OUR CULTURE WE WERE WEARING FLANNELS AND COMBAT BOOTS BEFORE THEY WERE BORN, THEY'VE PROBABLY NEVER EVEN BEEN IN A MOSH PIT OR BEEN TO SEATTLE WHERE WERE YOU DURING NIRVANA UNPLUGGED BRO, OH YEAH RIGHT, YOU WEREN'T EVEN A FETUS.

3) Bargaining
Well, if the kiddos are wearing them again, I'm sure it'll be just fine if I buy a pair of pointy-toed Docs and start rocking them with my boyfriend jeans.  I won't look old.  I'll look like super cool.  I mean, I did it first.  It'll be fine.  I'm not old.

4) Depression
Fuck, I'm old.

5) Acceptance
You know, they are pretty cute in their striped tights and dark lipstick.  And, it is pretty cool that they like they way we dressed enough to copy it.  This kind-of justifies my entire generation, really. I mean, what else have we done but give the world some cool websites and film soundtracks?  These little posers are our legacy!  They're baby us-es!  They're adorable and I embrace them.  Next time I see one in the coffee shop, I'm gonna hug the living shit out of the rascal.  Maybe I can even give them tips on giving good bitch face!

So, I'm OK.  Still old, though.  And, obviously NOT gonna hug any of them.  I barely hug my mother. (Poor mom.) But, I think I'm gonna be fine.  I mean, yes, it's scary to get older and see a whole new generation doing the thing you thought you were so original for doing in the first place.  But, I'm sure when we were stomping around in our combat boots, original 70s punks were like, um, HELLLOOOO?  So, it's the cycle of life or some shit.  Hakuna Matata.  Carpe Diem.  Fuck me gently with a chainsaw and other sayings from 90s movies.  It's all good.

Just don't be within 10 feet of me wearing a Ramones shirt from Forever 21 or I. Will.  Cut.  You.

LOL.

*photo from where else tumblr.