Tuesday, September 10, 2013
1) A round door.
Yes, like a hobbit hole. It needs to have a round door and that door should be red instead of green. Non-negotiable. I wanna walk through that door every day all like, where my fuzzy slippers at?
2) A room of requirement.
I know. I've been watching waaaaay too much Harry Potter. But, think about it. This room could be a yoga studio and then a movie theater and then a bowling alley and maybe a rainforest with, I don't know, monkeys or something for when you're stressed. It could be a shoe store! It could be a coffee shop! IT COULD BE A BAR!
3) A library.
Speaking of rooms, I need room for my books. And Tim's books. And my Papaw's old books. I need a cool dark room with floor to ceiling shelves and big overstuffed chairs for lounging and maybe a fireplace that Hogie could lie in front of and just be a little fat chunkin.
4) A fancy yard.
I'm talking a deck, a pool, an organic vegetable garden and a special magic bubble over the whole thing that doesn't let in evil UV rays or whatever they are so I can get my sun time without damaging my skin. I'll also need a section of the yard just filled with tennis balls for my crazy dog.
5) A big closet.
I want space. For all my black boots and plaid shirts and too-girly floral dresses. I want room to spread out and display all my too-high pretty stilettos I only wear once a year. I want to hang my ill advised hat purchases from the ceiling. I want a mirror that makes me look like Zooey Deschanel. Maybe a mini-fridge too. I want to be able to hide in there for at least a few days at a time.
Ooooh, cable, you say? How fucking fancy! Getting all high brow are we? Well, we haven't had cable in years and years and while it's fine watching most stuff online, having to watch a show like Breaking Bad the DAY AFTER everyone else because we bought it from iTunes and it's not available until then BLOWS SO HARD. It just does. I want Direct TV with every channel there is. I want the NFL football package, I want HBO. I WANT IT ALL, Y'ALL.
If you're reading this and you're the genie from Aladdin or something, hook a girl up! Wish me luck with this moving business. It's hard to get me to pack a duffle for a weekend trip, much less a whole house.
*photo from meri-dawn on tumblr.