Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Porge McSmalls

Hogan McSmalls needs a lot of encouragement.  You know people like that.  They need quite a few compliments and pats on the back and "atta girls" to make it through the day.  There's nothing wrong with it, it's just how they're built.

My theory on this has always been that Hogie is needy because he's a rescue but maybe he's just a sensitive little fuzzy soul.  Whatever the reason, my poochie pal requires a lot of attention.  He needs some ear scratches followed by a hide-and-go seek session.  An hour later he'll need a round of tug-o-war with his stuffed foxtopus (it's a fox and an octopus, see pic above).  He needs words of encouragement too.  The regular (Good boy!) and the silly (Hello, Mister Fuzz, how's your face?).  You know.  It's just how it is and I'm more than willing to provide such terms of endearment to keep him happy and unsulkified.

Lately I've been calling him Porge.  He really likes it.  This name came about, as many of my nicknames for people I love do, through a series of other names.  It grew, it evolved.  It all started because he was standing around my office with his head hanging down and his tail tucked like he'd done something wrong.

"What's wrong, buddy?"  I asked him but he stayed in his emo Eeyore posture.

"You look super handsome, dude," I said and his tail half-wagged but he still wouldn't look up.

"You're fabulous!  I mean it!  Totally gorgeous!" I declared, lifting his chin.  This made Hogie really happy.  He wagged his tail, he turned some circles.  It was all just so exciting.

So, naturally I started calling him "Gorgeous," which quickly turned into "Gorgeousness" and then "Gorgeousness Supreme with Sour Cream."  This started taking quite an effort to say all the time.  "Gorgeousness Supreme with Sour Cream" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue and plus, the waitress in me started upselling the name, adding guacamole or Tapatío, which is a lot of work, you know?  Hello, Gorgeousness Supreme with Sour Cream and Guacamole, Hold the Onions! 

So, I shortened it to "Gorge."  Then I cuted it up by calling him "Gorgey Porgey."  (He likes this one the best, by the way.  I think.  I mean, pretty sure.) Now, I'm calling him "Porge."  I think he likes it OK but he's just gonna have to deal with it because I'm stuck on Porge for the time being.  I'm sure it will be something else by next week but right now, Porge is sleeping under my desk while I work.  He's snoring pretty steadily and every once in a while he snorts in his sleep.  It's totally gorgeous, you guys.

But, the important thing, the point really, is that Porge hasn't looked like Eeyore in weeks.

*photo of Porge straight porging with his Foxtopus