Monday, November 19, 2012

My Turkey Tradition

Thanksgiving must be almost here because I just adopted a freaking turkey.  Meet Payton, the ugly bird dude.  Or is it a girl?  I have no idea.

Do not be alarmed.  I'm okay.  Well, I'm okay for me.  I do this every year.  It is my own annual tradition.  I know lots of people who have strange traditions.  There are family traditions and friend traditions and weird things you do for your dog on the same day every year traditions.  (Treat shaped like a donut with sprinkles for their adoption anniversary, maybe?  I mean, just as an example.)  This is something I do every year just because I want to.

Yup, I adopt a horribly ugly turkey.  For three years running now.  I pardon it like I'm the freaking President or something.  If you know me or if you've read this blog for a while, you know I hate turkeys.  They're ugly and they taste like dirt.  I've called them dirty birds for the better part of my life.  I haven't eaten the turkey part of the meal since I was a tiny dork in cowboy boots.  I'm more of a green bean casserole/mashed potatoes type of chick.  I didn't eat the turkey even back in the day, before I was vegetarian, when I ate chicken fried steak for every meal.  I just don't like turkeys, alive or on the table.

So, even I'm not sure why I adopt one.  It's not to brag about it because I'm pretty sure most people I know will roll their eyes at me when they read this.  And, it's not exactly because I'm trying to be all tree-hugger-y.  I've got leather boots and bags in my closet.  I don't think any less of people who like to eat dirty bird.  (Well, except I'm like, "gross, why do you like that?!" but I do the same thing with jicama and Jell-O so whatever.)

But, I like having a tradition.  I like to think that every year, some ugly bird out there is thankful for ME on some subconscious bird level, whether they know it or not.  So, I guess I do it for selfish reasons.  Because each year, on Thanksgiving, I know I've done one pretty good thing.  In a year full of closing the elevator door quickly and honking at people in traffic and talking shit about other customers with the barista at my local coffee shop, at least I adopted a turkey.

I can't be that bad.  Once a year I adopt a turkey.  I must be a saint.

*If you wanna adopt your own ugly dirty bird, go to Farm Sanctuary.  They're cool as hell.