Friday, June 1, 2012

10 Songs To Crank

Sometimes I'm spazzy.  Okay, frequently I'm spazzy.  It's not unusual for my husband to come home from work and find me holding the dog by the front paws and dancing around the living room to Hall & Oates.  (Don't call PETA!  The dog loves it.  Really, he's a very good dancer.)  To the embarrassment of my nephews, I'm not above belting out some classic Madonna in a drugstore or teaching the kids how to Roger Rabbit at a birthday party to Salt-N- Pepa.  What I'm trying to say is that sometimes you just feel like dancing or singing along.  When that urge hits, it has to be something cheesy.  Like, a rock ballad or an 80s song.  It has to be something silly.  When I'm in the mood to dance, I do not crank up Bon Iver or The Shins.  I crank up Whitesnake.

And, you do too.

So, this week's list is:  10 Songs To Crank.   It's Friday.  Let's get down, people.

1.  Whitsesnake ~ Here I Go Again

Why don't we just go ahead and start with Whitesnake?  (I feel like this band and I are hair friends.)  This is fantastic road trip music.  Also good for slow fan kicks on your kitchen counter or Tawny Kitaen-style coffee table moments.  In any case, there should be a lot of snarls and hair flips going on or you're doing it wrong.  Can and should be karaoke-d frequently and with gusto.

2) Wreckx-N-Effect ~ Rump Shaker

I taught a dance class for a theatre camp in high school.  I still remember most of the dance I made up to this song.  Pretty sure I made little kids do a crotch-grab move.  I know I made them get low.  Still in the rotation to this day, particularly after happy hour.

3) George Michael ~ Freedom

I love you, George Michael.  All your music is crank-able.  But, this is an anthem.  Who doesn't love this song?  (Don't answer that because if you don't like this song, we could have issues and chances are if you're reading this, I heart you hard and don't want issues with you.  Just LIKE IT!  Dance!  Dance!  Dance!)

4) Kanye West ~ Gold Digger

This song reminds me of a summer when my pal Rox and I got in all kinds of trouble.  There was writing on bathroom walls and partying with Irish bands in pubs.  There was also that time I ran into traffic but what I really remember the most was blasting this loud and often.  We saw Kanye at a freaking Cheesecake Factory and giggled until we were red in the face like a couple of Junior High girls.  Still puts me in a good mood.  Crank it!

5) The Knack ~ My Sharona

If you know me or read this blog regularly, you probably expected this to be on my list.  I love it.  If you like me, you'll dance with me when this is on.  If you love me, you'll dance with me when I play it for the fourth time in a row.

6) Def Leppard ~ Pour Some Sugar On Me

Any Def Leppard song is great to crank.  And sing loudly.  And dance around to.  And have sex to.  And rob banks to.  And go bowling to.  And meet your friends in a parking lot so you can drink beer and compliment each other's boots to.  You get it.

7) Violent Femmes ~ Add It Up

This is my go-to karaoke song.  I love it.  It works out because it's soooo fun to sing and everyone knows it.  It doesn't work out because I can't help but dance around and then I end up looking like a big ole' dork.  Yup.

8) Jackson 5 ~ The Love You Save

This is my very favorite song where a child warns me of the dangers of being a slut.  Try not to dance.

9) The Clash ~ Should I Stay Or Should I Go

When I hear this song, my panties drop.  It's so weird.

10) Starship ~ We Built This City

They sang this in that Muppet movie and I had the egotistical self-involved crazy thought that they'd somehow ripped me off because this is my eternal cheesy jam.  MY JAM!  Mine!  I somehow got a hold of this album as a child and played this song over and over again.  There have been dance routines and roller skate routines.  There's also been a lot of eye-rolling from friends over the years but  I've continued to listen to it constantly since then.  I never get sick of it.  I even made my friend Val learn the words to it so we could karaoke it.  (She did because she's a badass.)

Aaaand, that's my list, y'all!  I recommend a dance party.  Right now.  In your office or school or coffee shop or airplane.  What would you add to the list?  Hit me.  (I'm making a playlist and you might come up with my next theme song.)


*photo by Edi Momo Patterson featuring my cute friend Roberto and some dork.