Thursday, May 17, 2012

10 Ways I'm SO NOT A Grown-Up

Last week I made a list where I bragged about all the ways I know I'm a grown-up.  To read that list, click here.  (Eye-rolling may ensue.)  This Thursday, I'm rebutting myself.  Kinky!  Yeah, sure, I might drink real cocktails and eat my vegetables, but I'm still sort-of emotionally stunted.  I'm still pretty much an immature baby person in a lot of ways.  (I have friends in their early 20s who have it WAY MORE together than I do.)  But, that's okay because today I am owning it.  Today I am listing it!

Yup, Ten Ways I'm So Not A Grown-Up

1) Here's a list of my favorite foods:  pizza, baby carrots, apples, graham crackers, grilled cheese cut into triangles, peanut butter and Morningstar corn dogs.  I also enjoy a nice Capri-Sun.

2) Kids frequently ask me if I'm a kid too.  IN YOUR FACE, OTHER ADULTS!

3) My current iTunes movie wish list contains:  Herbie The Love Bug, The Cat From Outer Space, The Fox & The Hound and Dumbo.  But, I probably won't get around to it anytime soon because I'm too busy watching Jem.

4) Cooking?  No.  YOU cook!  You do it!  I DON'T WANNA! EVERYTHING IS SOOOO HARD! LET'S JUST ORDER PIZZA OR EAT POPCORN WITH HOT CHOCOLATE!

5) I dance in elevators, super market aisles, bars, boutiques and courtrooms.  Whatever.  You know you like it.

6) I yell, "LOOKIT THE WITTLE PUPPY!" whenever I see any dog, even if he's 103 years old and being wheeled around on a cart.

7) I don't want to hold your stupid baby because I'm afraid I'll drop it and also because I want all the attention.  Ooh, they're tiny, big deal!  I can talk and I'm potty-trained!

8) I am not above pouting or crying to get my way.  I also throw fantastic tantrums and my husband has to tell people that I'm over-tired because I haven't had my nap for the last fifteen years.  I nod at them, teary-eyed, over his shoulder and sigh dramatically as I clutch my blankie.

9) I jump up and down when I'm excited.  This can be particularly embarrassing in movie theaters but you have to be true to yourself, right?

10) I still use rhymes when doing math.  Example:  8 times 8 fell on the floor. When I picked it up, it was 64.  Do you guys think 8 and 8 did it?!  I think they totally did it.

Okay, that's it.  That's the list.  I'm a little bit embarrassed but not really because my mom said I'm a special special girl so there.


*photo of me with shag carpet and a genuine Oreo necklace.