here. (Eye-rolling may ensue.) This Thursday, I'm rebutting myself. Kinky! Yeah, sure, I might drink real cocktails and eat my vegetables, but I'm still sort-of emotionally stunted. I'm still pretty much an immature baby person in a lot of ways. (I have friends in their early 20s who have it WAY MORE together than I do.) But, that's okay because today I am owning it. Today I am listing it!
Yup, Ten Ways I'm So Not A Grown-Up
1) Here's a list of my favorite foods: pizza, baby carrots, apples, graham crackers, grilled cheese cut into triangles, peanut butter and Morningstar corn dogs. I also enjoy a nice Capri-Sun.
2) Kids frequently ask me if I'm a kid too. IN YOUR FACE, OTHER ADULTS!
3) My current iTunes movie wish list contains: Herbie The Love Bug, The Cat From Outer Space, The Fox & The Hound and Dumbo. But, I probably won't get around to it anytime soon because I'm too busy watching Jem.
4) Cooking? No. YOU cook! You do it! I DON'T WANNA! EVERYTHING IS SOOOO HARD! LET'S JUST ORDER PIZZA OR EAT POPCORN WITH HOT CHOCOLATE!
5) I dance in elevators, super market aisles, bars, boutiques and courtrooms. Whatever. You know you like it.
6) I yell, "LOOKIT THE WITTLE PUPPY!" whenever I see any dog, even if he's 103 years old and being wheeled around on a cart.
7) I don't want to hold your stupid baby because I'm afraid I'll drop it and also because I want all the attention. Ooh, they're tiny, big deal! I can talk and I'm potty-trained!
8) I am not above pouting or crying to get my way. I also throw fantastic tantrums and my husband has to tell people that I'm over-tired because I haven't had my nap for the last fifteen years. I nod at them, teary-eyed, over his shoulder and sigh dramatically as I clutch my blankie.
9) I jump up and down when I'm excited. This can be particularly embarrassing in movie theaters but you have to be true to yourself, right?
10) I still use rhymes when doing math. Example: 8 times 8 fell on the floor. When I picked it up, it was 64. Do you guys think 8 and 8 did it?! I think they totally did it.
Okay, that's it. That's the list. I'm a little bit embarrassed but not really because my mom said I'm a special special girl so there.
*photo of me with shag carpet and a genuine Oreo necklace.