Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Living Room Toilet

There is a toilet in my living room.

I'm glad it's there.  Last night I couldn't stop looking at it.  They'll put it back where it belongs in a couple of days.  After they tile the floor.  But, right now, there is a freaking toilet in my living room.

We bought the place four and a half years ago.  We liked everything about the condo except for the carpet in the master bedroom and the fact that the front bathroom had a bathtub but no shower.  Plus, the bathtub that was in there was a spa tub from the dark ages.  (Or the seventies?  Whatever.)  It was old and icky and I imagined there were worms and other creepy creatures living in the jets.

"No problem!" we said.  "We can fix these things easily!  We'll make these changes immediately!  We'll make this place exactly what we want!"

And, we did.  I mean, we ripped out the carpet and put in awesome cork floors.  We painted and bought new furniture.  We changed out the cabinets in the kitchen for open French-style shelving.  But, the bathroom remained the same.

We showered in the back bathroom.  We got used to it.  I mean, we'd shared a shower in Silver Lake for five years.  Every time someone came to stay with us, we'd say, "Guess what?  Next time you come, you'll have your own shower!  That's next on our list."

I took baths in the old ass bathtub, never turning on the spa function.  When I cleaned the tub, I took way too long trying to make it look new and sparkly.  But, it was never new and sparkly.  And, I never loved it.

So, four and a half years later, it's all happening.  They're putting in a kick-ass shower and a new sparkly tub.  They'll be awesome white subway tile and fancy new hexagonal floor tile when they're done.  I've been working at coffee shops this week because it's too loud and crazy to be in my office.  The dog is in doggie day care so he doesn't growl at the contractors or trip somebody who happens to be carrying my shiny new perfect awesome lovely super bath tub.  (It's extra deep!  It's pretty!  It's MINE!)  We are annoying our neighbors and spending way too much money.  There is a layer of dust all over everything.  It's totally putting me out and inconvenient and there's a toilet in my living room.

And, I couldn't be happier, you guys.