Monday, March 19, 2012

There Will Be Pie

Today is Tim's Birthday.  Every year, I want to do something big for him and every year he talks me down.  We usually end up at dinner.  With pie.  Which is awesome.  But, my inclination is to throw him a giant party with a band and sliders and funny hats.  His inclination is to pretend it's not happening.

This year, I didn't even attempt to force a party on him.  I'm just going to take him out to dinner.  The problem this year was the gift.  It seems I've used up all my ideas at this point.  He has everything golf related he could possibly need.  Last year I scored kick-ass tickets to a Kings game but at this point we don't even know if they'll be in the play-offs.  My parents, his parents and our siblings asked me what to get him.  I can't even come up with one thing to get him, much less five things.  So, I asked him.

"What do you want for your Birthday?  Everyone is asking me!"

"Tell them not to get me anything. Tell them to get me a card."

"THEY'RE GONNA GET YOU SOMETHING ANYWAY, DUDE!  CAN'T YOU THINK OF ANYTHING?!"  (I yelled that.  Kind-of.  Did you get that I was yelling?  With the awesome all-caps?)

"Um... no.  I don't want anything.  Tell them not to waste their money."

"UUUUUGGGGHHHHH!  Okay, fiiine, do you need anything for golf?"

"No."

"Any books?"

"No."

"Clothes?  New wallet?  Watch?"

"Nope."

"Um, music?  Headphones?  iPad?  Electric razor?  Light saber?"

"Uh-uh."

"FINE!"

So, I told family members the few ideas I'd brainstormed so far.  Then, I went out looking for something to buy my freaking Birthday boy husband.  I wandered into a kitschy little boutique in Silver Lake.  The girl working there made the mistake of asking me what I was looking for.

"A gift for my husband's Birthday."

"Great!" she said.  She actually looked excited.  "What is he into?"

"Ummmm, he likes golf and hockey and gin and, um, World War II."

"Okaaay.  Well, let me know if you need any help," she said and then she ran away from me and hid in the back of the store.

So.  It's Monday morning and I still don't have a gift.  I have faith I'll find something by tonight.  Wish me luck!  But, I've been thinking about it and it's not really that horrible not to want anything. He must be a pretty content guy if he's honestly truly happy with dinner and pie every year.  So, I'm not gonna sweat it.  If I find something perfect, awesome.  If I don't, awesome, I'll get him that card he so badly wants.  There are worse things in the world than a hard to buy for Birthday boy husband.


Happy Birthday, Tim! Spoiler alert: There will be pie.