Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Mad Girl

Mad Men is back but I haven't watched it yet.  I don't have cable.  I know, I know.  Not having cable is pretentious.  Not having cable is ridiculous.  Only snooty people don't have cable.

We decided to get rid of it for a number of reasons, none of them pretentious.  We don't hate TV, we love TV!  We love TV to the point of obsession.  Our dvr was always full and we watched every show ever.  On weekends we would get sucked into a Man vs. Food marathon or a documentary about old trees on the History Channel.  It's all or nothing with us.  We're completely ridiculous.  So, when we moved into our new condo a few years back, we figured we'd save money and time.  If we didn't have television, we couldn't get taken over by television.  Think of all we'd get done!  Think of the books we'd read, the films we'd watch, the conversations we'd have!  Think of it!


We have Netflix streaming.  We have AppleTV.  We are both internet savvy adults who can find anything we want to watch online.  I keep up with Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy and The Vampire Diaries just online.  Tim's always watching a hockey game or a golf tournament online.  We've streamed so many episodes of Supernatural and Doctor Who over the last month that now I think every person I meet is either a demon or an alien.  We bought Season 2 of Downton Abbey and watched it in three nights.  We watch almost as much television now as when we had television!

I've been strongly on the "Let's just freaking get cable" team since football season.  Every time I wanted to watch a Cowboys game, we had to go to a pub or our friends' house or find a crappy feed online.  I figured the amount of money we were spending on pints and greasy pub food would easily cover the football package.  Then came the Oscars.  I've never been much of an Oscar party person.  I want to watch them on my couch with my Tivo and a bunch of snacks.  I want to be able to pause the show and gesture at Angelina Jolie's collar bone with the remote to no one in particular.  So, yeah, no cable for FOOTBALL or the OSCARS!  Horrible, right?  Borderline torture.  And now, Game of Thrones is returning.  Mad Men has returned!  THE TIME FOR CABLE IS NOW!

But, the husband's not going for it.  Not because of any reason I just named, either.  I mean, I think he's glad he doesn't spend his weekends crashed out on the couch watching food shows and stuff but the real reason he won't let us get cable again is purely aesthetic.  He hates the actual cables.

When they set up our house, they wired the cable in the back bedroom.  Which means they have to run the coaxial cable up and around our ceiling, down the hallway, through the door frame, around the ceiling again, down a wall and to our television.  It's ugly, I agree.  But, I figured we could get it moved to the living room.  We could find a way!  Come on, it's Mad Men!

He's not budging.

So, for now, we are going to our friend Jenny's to watch Mad Men.  Don't tell me what happened!  I don't want to know anything, not what Peggy's hair looks like or what Joan wore.  If you say anything, I will growl at you.  I am the drunk Don Draper of not having cable.  No, really.  Back off.  Grrrrrr.

*photo by Lan Bui.