Monday, February 27, 2012

What's In A Name

You know how when you're writing a sci-fi pilot with your geek husband, sometimes you need to name your characters so you start looking up the meanings of names and surnames online and then you look up your own name and you're like, whoa, my name is AWESOME?  Well, that totally happened to me.  My name is Kendra, which means "magical" and Alvey, which means "elf battle," so my full name is...MAGICAL ELF BATTLE!

I'm so happy.  I think I'm so cool now.  Tim's name means:  "To honor God" and his last name means Priest.  How redundant.  I think I win.  At least for our household.  Hogan means "Youthful" and McSmalls means a "Scottish Little or Small Person."  Okay, maaaaybe Hogie wins?  Nah, I win.

I looked up common names.  Jennifer means "white wave" or "fair one."  Christopher means "Christ-bearer."  So, that's half the people I know.  Then I started looking up famous people and television characters:

  • Gene Kelly = Noble Wood
  • Stephen King = Crown King (Seriously.  I wonder if he knows this.  I bet he knows this.  I bet when he found out, he nodded his head once and said, "Yup.")
  • Dexter Morgan = Flexible Bright
  • Buffy Summers = Bunny Warm Disposition
  • Drew Barrymore = Drew means "manly or wise" and Barrymore means "your family's fucking famous."
  • Frank Sinatra = Free Magistrate
  • Tom Petty = Twin Small (Um?  I don't even know.)

I looked up "Zooey Deschanel" too.  Her name apparently does not really exist.  Same with Meryl Streep.  Well, Meryl means "Blackbird" but Streep yielded no results.

Whatever.  So, everyone else's name is kind-of lame.  I care not!  I'm still going to introduce myself as "Magical Elf Battle" FROM NOW ON.  I'm thinking legally too.  Can you imagine how awesome my passport would be?  Can you imagine how amazing baristas will sound calling out my name in Starbucks?  I bet cops would let me off with a chuckle and a warning when they pulled me over.  I bet I'd win an Oscar in the AWESOME NAME CATEGORY.  I bet my life will be better and it will rain down donuts and kittens on me wherever I go.

I bet my hair will always look amazing.

To look up your name, click here.  But, don't tell me if it's better than mine.  Let me have this.  I need this, you guys.