Friday, January 27, 2012

The Bar Brawl Draft

Last night at happy hour, I got happy.  I made my husband play Top 5 with me and he couldn't refuse because I'm really scary at happy hour.  I thought one of his questions was just delightful.  Here it is, you ready?  What five television characters would you want with you in a fight?  I don't remember what my answer was exactly (happy hour, remember?) but it was something like this:

1) Buffy.  Yes, I picked a girl first.  I defy you to pick someone better!  She's the SLAYER!  Plus, she's funny and will make witty commentary as she fan kicks some guy's face in.

2) Omar.  From The Wire, Omar.  I picked him because of the creepy whistling.  Also, he's tough and handy with a gun but not a total asshole so maybe after we win the fight, we can have a beer.

3) Al Swearengen.  He's the scariest dude in Deadwood.  And, he comes up with some really great curse words that would probably make people all like, Ooooh, that guy is tough and then we'll win.

4) Starbuck.  I pick Kara Thrace, please!  Frak yeah! Somehow I'm assuming that this fake fight I'm gonna be in will be a bar brawl and I think that Starbuck embodies everything you want on your side in a bar brawl.  She'll kick serious ass and then buy shots.  I'm a little afraid of her clapping me on the back all friendly like and knocking me to the ground, though.

5) Dexter.  He'll be calm and methodical.  He'll also be clean-up crew in case Buffy kicks someone's head off by accident or Omar shoots someone (because he's totally gonna shoot someone).  If things get too crazy and we're by some miracle losing, I'll just tell Dexter that the bad people raped puppies or something.

I know. You thought I was going to pick Sarah O'Brien from Downton Abbey.  I thought about it but I don't want to be in the same room with her.

What do you think?  I'm pretty proud of my little crew.  I wish that it would actually happen and someone would have us pose for a group photo all bloody and disheveled.  I would make everyone look at that group photo from now until forever.

What would yours be?  What fake person would help you win your fake fight? It has to be television, you can't pick Hellboy.  (I know you wanna pick Hellboy.)


*photo by elvissa.